


There Are Winds . . .

by MistressofHappyEndings



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Backstory, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 00:34:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressofHappyEndings/pseuds/MistressofHappyEndings
Summary: This is a story about Garthan Saal, his past, and his future.





	There Are Winds . . .

Corpsman Garthan Saal woke to immense pain and confusion and the smell of cooling metal. He didn’t know where he was or why he was in such pain, and it quickly didn’t matter as the agony settled in his chest, head, and eyes. He writhed in an attempt to alleviate some of the discomfort, but he couldn’t do it, his arms and legs pinned by something unforgiving. Panic set in as the pain grew, and Saal struggled against his confinement until blackness overtook him.

This cycle repeated over and over. He once managed to stay conscious long enough to realize he was trapped in the wreckage of his fighter. Saal didn’t know how long he been caught in the twisted remains, didn’t know how many times he’d woken to this nightmare; but he knew that if he didn’t get moving, his chances of survival were slim. He set all his will and determination to getting out of the wreck. If he could just stop passing out …

Saal’s eyes fluttered opened once more, and he remembered just in time not to sigh in exhausted despair so as not to ignite the fire in his chest or his head. It was dark, so he figured that night had fallen, not a good sign. The nights on this planet were cold, and the carnivorous wildlife plentiful. If he didn’t get moving soon, he could freeze to death or become a late night snack for one predator or another. As he contemplated his options, his eyes began their own cycle of burning and itching, and, without conscious thought, he raised a hand to rub at them.

Before he could reach his eyes, a cool hand caught his and a familiar voice berated him gently. “Ah, ah, none of that now. You need to leave those alone for now, Garthan. We’ll get your eyes checked by a doctor as soon as we can.”

With the admonishment, the Nova pilot suddenly realized that he was somehow no longer in his ship and was instead laid out in a half-reclined position against something cool and yielding. He twisted slightly to confront the voice and immediately choked on a silent scream. A heavy weight crushed down on his chest, and he alternated between frantically panting for air and holding his breath to stop the agony spearing through his ribcage. 

The same insistent but soothing voice from before eventually broke through the cycle of agony and calmly directed Saal into slowly regulating his breathing. “That’s it, Gar, that’s it,” the voice praised, a hand slipping into his and interlacing their fingers, squeezing reassuringly. Another hand ran lightly up and down his opposite arm.  
“You’re doing great, slow and easy, that’s right.”

Gar. Only one person ever called him that, a person he could trust with everything, even his pain. Saal slumped back against him with weary gratitude and squeezed the hand back. “A-avvin.”

Avvin Korr. A man he’s known since infancy. Their parents had been friends and neighbors when their mothers had become pregnant. They had been born on the same day in the same hospital in rooms next door to each other. And that had been the theme of their whole lives. Always together, doing everything together, eating and even sharing cribs and cots together. When Saal’s parents had died in a tragic accident when he was only seven, Aavin’s parents had taken him in and raised the boys together as brothers. 

As they’d grown older, their relationship had changed from brotherhood to romance, and they had planned the rest of their lives together. The first thing they’d decided upon was joining the Nova Corps, and this they had done as soon as they’d reached the minimum age requirement. They’d quickly shot to the top of their class, and once they’d graduated, they’d been sent out to combat the Kree raiders on Xandarian colonies, like Noc, the colony they’d grown up on. They had been part of a highly successful squadron … until today.

The fingers caressing his arm moved up to carefully card through his hair. “Hey, there you are. Just take it easy now. I’ve got you.”

Saal rolled his head slightly towards the sound of his lover’s voice. “H-how bad am I?” There was a slight pause and a shift in the surface he was laying on. “Avvin?”

“Sssh, sorry, Gar.” The hand still holding his squeezed in gentle reassurance. “You have a number of broken ribs and your eyes, I think they’re a bit flash-burned. You’ve also got a good sized knot on the back of your head. Sorry about your shirt, by the way, but it was already ruined; I didn’t have anything else to use as bandages, and I thought your eyes and ribs would appreciate the support.”

Saal took a few moments to parse the breathless sentence before flapping his free hand dismissively and answering, “It’s fine. What about you?”

There was another odd pause from his living mattress then Avvin announced, “I got much luckier than you. Bumps and bruises and a knot to match yours on my head, but I’m mostly all right. It’s you that I’m worried about. The Nova Corps managed to fight off the Kree, but I don’t know how long it’s going to take for someone to notice that you - _we_ are missing and come looking for us. Our best bet is to start walking back to base before night sets in. Do you think you’re up for it?” 

“I don’t know,” Saal answered with quiet honesty. “It hurts, Avvi, and I can’t stay conscious. It would probably be better if you leave me here and bring back help.”

“ _I am **not** leaving you behind,_ ” Avvin replied with a near snarl. 

Saal flinched at the unexpectedly fierce tone, and a gasp tore from him as the involuntary movement caused the pain to stagger up and down his ribcage. Strong arms came up around him almost immediately and held him close until the agony subsided somewhat. Avvin’s cold nose brushed against his ear.

“Ssh, I’m sorry, Gar, I’m sorry,” Avvin spoke in a quieter, but somehow no less fierce, tone. “But I’m not leaving you out here by yourself. I can’t. I _won’t._ Why don’t we see if we can get you on your feet first and then how far we can get from there?”

The injured man contemplated the suggestion for a few minutes while his friend sat with silent patience behind him, his hands softly caressing Saal’s arms as before. With a shallow sigh, Saal reluctantly agreed, “All right, but don’t blame me when I black out on you.”

“Duly noted,” Avvin answered. His voice softened with his next words. “Let me help you, Gar. We’ll get there together.”

“Together,” Saal echoed. He carefully turned his head and pressed a kiss to the underside of Avvin’s jaw. “Let’s do this.”

Avvin leaned forward to steal a soft kiss of his own. Then, rising to his knees, the young Xandarian shifted and wrapped his arms around Saal’s shoulders, carefully tugging him into a fully seated position. It was an exercise in torture to get the wounded man to his feet from there, and once upright, it took everything his unseen companion had to ensure that he didn’t end up face first onto the ground. In the end, they stood swaying against each other, Avvin tucked tightly under Saal’s chin, one arm snug around Saal’s waist and the other running soothingly up and down his back.

“I’m still quite jealous, you know,” Avvin murmured into Saal’s throat, “at how tall you’ve gotten. I barely come up to your shoulder. It’s so ridiculous.”

Saal chuckled brokenly against the soft strands brushing his face. “Sorry.”

Avvin pressed his lips to Saal’s Adam’s apple. “Don’t be. It suits you. Most things do.” Reluctantly easing away from the larger man, he moved from in front of him to his side instead. “All right, Gar, one foot in front of the other. The base is only a few miles from here. Easy as anything, right?”

Saal didn’t answer with words. Instead, he took that first step, and thus began a slow, agonizing march towards safety. The falling night made the terrain treacherous, causing both men to stumble over holes and loose rocks despite Avvin’s best efforts to steer around them. The pain in his ribs and his eyes grew to nearly unbearable levels, and it took everything he had to reign in the gasps and groans that wanted to escape. His head throbbed fiercely, and even if he could see, he’d probably be doing it in duplicate if not triplicate. Only Avvin’s grip on him and the encouraging words whispered in his ear kept him upright and moving. 

Even as he fought to stay moving forward, Saal’s attention wandered and faded against his will, and he found himself lost in memories that he couldn’t tell were true or not. Some were hazy, vague things, more impressions than anything else. Others were painful over exaggerations, images so sharp and bright, they seemed to pierce his very soul. Saal had no control over them, could do nothing but let them wash over him as they willed and try to keep up with Avvin. 

Avvin … thinking his lover’s name caused more memories to burst star-bright across his minds-eye. The first few were sweet, snippets of other times and places they had shared together. Saal smiled to himself, savoring these images even if they did prove to be false later. Any time spent with Avvin, imaginary or not, was to be cherished.

Gradually, the visions changed, became darker, brought pain and an ugly realization that Saal should have remembered all along. He staggered to a halt and let his head fall to his chest in agonized defeat. Tears that had nothing to do with physical pain seeped from under the makeshift bandage around his eyes. 

“Avvi, are we in hell?”

“What – no! No, we are not in hell. Why would you think that?” The body beside Saal’s shifted until Avvin stood in front of him. One cool hand cupped Saal’s face, the thumb gently fanning away the tears. “Is the pain getting worse, Gar? We’re almost to the base, I can see it from here, you just have to hold on a little while longer then you can rest.”

But Saal slowly shook his head as more tears slid down his cheeks. “Avvi,” he choked out, his arms unconsciously tightening in self-comfort around his aching ribs. “Avvi, you’re _dead_.”

There was a long, long moment of quiet. “Ah,” Avvin answered in a soft, apologetic tone. He tugged lightly at Saal’s arms, trying to get him to loosen the hold that was only causing him further pain. “I wondered how long it would take you to remember that.”

“ _How_ , Avvi?” the young Corpsman gasped. “How are you here if I’m not dead, too? How is this not hell when it h-hurts s-so much?”

“Oh Garthan,” Avvin breathed. He gave up trying to tug Saal’s arms apart and instead gingerly enfolded the distraught man in his embrace. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, my own. I know it hurts, I know, but you aren’t dead and you aren’t in hell.”

Saal kept shaking his head and shrugged out of Avvin’s ghostly hold. “You left me alone, Avvi! You and your parents and all the others on Noc! All of you started dying from the Gracellie virus, one by one, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. All of you died!” Saal’s voice rose hysterically. “Do you know how long I had to wait there, all by myself, surrounded by all of your c-corpses, until medical aid showed up? Why did I have to be the only one immune? Why did you all – why did _you_ have to leave m-me alone?”

“Gar, sweetheart, please calm down. Don’t hurt yourself,” Avvin begged, once again reaching out, catching at Garthan’s sleeves. “I’m here now, I’m here, please calm down, love.”

“How, Avvi?” the injured man repeated in a whisper. He collapsed slowly to his knees and began to rock back and forth. “How are you here? Why now?”

The ghost slid down in front of him and gathered him close. Saal didn’t have the strength to resist the offered comfort, but he didn’t reach out for Avvin, either. A cool exhale of breath caressed his cheek before Avvin spoke again.

“You know that most Xandarian souls pass into the Nova Force when we die, and that’s where I’ve been the whole time, just like everyone else. But I’ve been by your side the whole time, too, Gar. I couldn’t leave you alone, in pain, and I’ve … strained against the borders between life and death for years now, trying to let you know that I was with you still.” 

The ghost of his lover curled closer around him and trembling fingers touched Saal’s face. “I’ve seen it all, Gar, everything that happened to you on Noc and afterwards. It about killed me all over again to watch you suffer and not be able to touch you or speak to you. Then this happened, and …”

Saal caught the roving fingers in his own and asked, “And what?”

The pilot felt Avvin take a deep breath against his own broken chest. “You aren’t dead, my own, but you are close, and the barrier between life and death gets … thin, when that happens. I was able to push through this time and get to you. I don’t know how long I’ve got before the Nova Force takes me back, but I couldn’t – I could not let you die like that, Gar. Not alone. And now you don’t have to die at all. We’re so close to the base, love, you can do this, you can get treatment and _live_.”

“But what if I don’t want to?” Saal raised his head to stare blindly at his dead lover. “Take me with you,” he pleaded, tears sliding faster down his cheeks, “Avvi, please take me with you, _please_. I don’t want to stay here anymore without you.”

“I can’t, Gar, you can’t,” Avvin’s voice sounded as anguished as Saal felt. “Stars know that I want to, I miss you so much, Garthan, but I can’t!”

“ _Why_?”

“I can’t tell you that, either,” Avvin cried. Saal felt icy tears soak through his tattered uniform jacket to the bare skin beneath. “I want to tell you, but the second I even think to do so, the Nova Force shuts me down. All I can tell you is that it will be worth it, Gar, it will be so worth it. I promise. You just have to hold on, my own, _hold on._ ”

“Kiss me, Avvi,” Saal blurted desperately, reaching out sightlessly towards the apparition, terrified that he would find nothing but air. “Kiss me before you fade away, and I lose you again.”

There was no hesitation from the form in front of him. Before he had finished his plea, real enough hands came up to tangle in his hair and soft-seeming lips covered his own in a harsh, frantic kiss. A cool tongue licked at the seam of his lips, demanding an entrance that was readily given. Saal curved one of his own hands around the back of Avvin’s neck, the other around Avvin’s jaw as he tilted the ghost’s face just enough to seal their mouths together in a perfect fit. 

For a little while, they were content to kneel there, Saal breathing around the kiss and Avvin not needing to breathe at all, pressing closer one to the other until they were wound so tightly around each other than they felt like one being. A perfect state of bliss until Saal began to cough. Within seconds, blood filled his mouth and Avvin’s, and he had to tear away from his lover to avoid choking. 

Saal couldn’t stop coughing, couldn’t get enough air, couldn’t stop bleeding. He vaguely heard Avvin’s panicked yelling as he felt himself sliding sideways to the cold, rocky ground. He struggled against the pain and breathlessness to reach out for the other man, to tell him one last time how much he loved him. He didn’t know if he was successful or not, though he thought he heard Avvin whisper something back to him before a darkness greater than his blindness enveloped him, and he knew no more.

***

The wounded pilot woke in a Xandarian hospital days later. His eyesight had been restored; his ribs and head were healing at a rapid pace. The doctor assured him that he would be up and about in no time with no ill effects from his misadventure. Physically, he was as well as man who had survived a fighter crash could be.

Saal nodded silently at this news and waited until the doctor left the room before giving in to the crushing pain of aloneness. Avvin was gone, if indeed he had ever actually been there at all. Saal knew it with the same certainty that he knew his own treacherous heart still beat inside his broken chest. He was alone again, and no amount of promises from a dead man could take that misery away.

Turning to his side, Saal buried his face into his pillow and wept.

***

Seven years after the fighter crash, eleven months after Ronan’s defeat, Denarian Garthan Saal woke in his own bed after a nightmare-fuelled night. He sighed as he tossed back the blankets to sit on the side of the bed. One hand curled up behind his neck and pulled at the short hair at the nape of his neck in frustration while the other covered his eyes. 

He was fine, dammit! He had survived the Dark Aster’s attack like he had everything else in his life, though this time it had been by a much thinner margin than normal. Still, he shouldn’t be having these ridiculous nightmares. He was too-well trained, had too much past experience, for something so trivial as bad dreams. This really wouldn’t do. He had to get control of himself.

A pair of strong arms slid around his bare torso and tugged him lightly back against a warm, solid chest. “You okay, sweetheart?”

Saal’s head dropped down in defeat. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he apologized softly, stroking the arms that surrounded him gently. “Go back to sleep, it’s hours before dawn yet. I’ll be fine.”

“Which means you aren’t right now,” his bed-partner’s sleep-rough voice muttered into his hair. Before Saal could protest the observation, he found himself being pulled further back into the bed and cradled close against the other man’s naked body. “How many times do I got to tell you, Garthan? I’m here for you, okay? If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen. If you don’t, then that’s fine, too, but at least let me hold you. You do it for me, sweetheart, why won’t you let me do it for you?”

“I –,” Saal’s head dipped lower, and he began yanking on his hair in frustration again. “I just can’t, it – I’m sorry, I want to, I –”

“Sssh, sssh, it’s okay,” his lover crooned as he carefully disentangled Saal’s fingers out of his hair and into his own large hands. The Xandarian found himself being lowered back onto the mattress, the other man turning him so they were facing each other and gathering him in. “You don’t have to do or say anything. Just let me hold you, Garthan. Just be with me, okay. I won’t let you go.”

Held close to his new lover’s body, mind and heart soothed by gentle kisses and tender caresses, Saal closed his eyes and nuzzled wearily against the warm skin. As sleep tried to claim him once more, a stray thought startled back to full wakefulness. Was this was Avvin had meant all those years ago? Was what he shared with this man, someone so unlike himself and everything he stood for as to be almost comically ridiculous, the thing that his ghostly love had promised would be worth it?

Pulling back slightly to search the lovely green eyes in the moonlight that filtered into their bedroom, Garthan thought he had his answer. He felt a slow smile curve his lips, and he leaned forward to rub his noses with the other man before tucking his head back under the bearded chin.

The arms around him tightened in confusion. “Garthan?”

“It’s all right, Peter,” Saal murmured against the thin skin of the Ravager’s throat. “Go to sleep. We’ll both be here in the morning. Just remind me to tell you about a man named Avvin Korr …”

**Author's Note:**

> Title and inspiration comes from this lovely poem:
> 
> And Then There Are Ghosts  
> By Anabel
> 
> darling,  
> there are winds  
> and then  
> there are ghosts  
> the hard part  
> is knowing  
> which is kissing your cheek


End file.
